i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
