brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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