5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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