Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
