Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
