I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
