So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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