If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
