There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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