i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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