i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
