I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
