so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
