You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
we're so committed to being not committed
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