I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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