I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
