im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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