I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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