Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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