i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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