don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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