He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
