My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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