Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize