honey bunches of taint.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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