don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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