it hurts more in the daytime
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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