I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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