Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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