Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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