she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
do nipples grow back?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize