mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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