This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
