After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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