this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
