matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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