dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize