we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i've created a new STD.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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