Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
where am i from again
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
