i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
