Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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