can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
