I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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