I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
