This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
