Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
