3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
