Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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