She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
