I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
