What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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