I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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