yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
