the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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