I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
