i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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