Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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