come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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