My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize