So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
