You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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