So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize