you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
