I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
